Rules For Stray Cats

I got this from Mary Ann, a true cat-lover!
1. Stray cats will not be fed.

2. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food.

3. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened
with a little milk.

4. Stray cats will not be fed anything, except dry cat food moistened
with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.

5. Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their
permanent residence.

6. Stray cats will not be petted, played with, picked up and cuddled
unnecessarily.

7. Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will
absolutely not be given a name.

8. Stray cats with or without a name, will not be allowed inside the
house at any time.

9. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except at certain
times.

10. Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house, except on days
ending in “y”.

11. Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or
sharpen their claws on the furniture.

12. Stray cats will not be permitted to, jump up on or sharpen claws
on the really good furniture.

13. Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture, but must sharpen
claws on new $100 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.

14. Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.

15. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-
impact plastic tray filled with Fresh’n’Sweet kitty litter.

16. Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter
pan, with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.

17. Stray cats will sleep outside.

18. Stray cats will sleep in the garage.

19. Stray cats will sleep in the house.

20. Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.

21. Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with
non-allergenic lambs wool pillow.

22. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.

23. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the
foot.

24. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.

25. Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the
covers, except at the foot.

26. Stray cats will not play on the desk.

27. Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.

28. Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the
desk, when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier’puyykmm4hb USING IT.

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About cweenmj

Nom, Play, LOL ;-)
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4 Responses to Rules For Stray Cats

  1. poussinboi says:

    LOL 😆 !! I think I’m about half way through most of those rules right now with my unnamed stray who lives in the back yard but walks in behind me when she knows I will feed her soon. 😉

  2. OzcatMum says:

    Fabulous! 🙂

  3. Gizmo says:

    hehehe, this is fantastic! We got up to number twelve with what we thought was a local stray, but then we realised he actually had pretty awesome owners who were wondering where he kept sneaking off to 😳 but within a couple of weeks, our first two full-time kitteh overlords strolled into our lives – and the rest is history 🙂

  4. paws4thot says:

    10) Strae kittehs nawt allouded in teh howz on Mundanes?

Comments are closed.